What God is Teaching Me in this Season

Hello ladies! I am back again with another post. This week, I want to share what God is teaching me in this season. 

As you know, I got married pretty young and had a baby young. I had to grow up very fast and learn how to be a wife, how to keep a home, and how to serve my husband. The first year of my husband’s and my marriage was hard. We both are stubborn people and wanted to control certain things in our marriage, our lives, and our home. Praise the Lord that God was in our relationship because He stepped in and reminded us that we are serving each other and Him.

All that to say, I had a very hard time adapting to being married and living on my own without my parents. We also lived an hour and a half away from family, so I had to also learn a new city, make new friends, and adjust to a new job. 

I’m gonna be honest, I was not content when I was first married. I would complain about having to work, not being close to family, and living in a small apartment in the heart of the city we were living in. I was not joyful in my circumstances, nor was I letting God give me a joyful spirit. I wanted people to pity me and tell me I should quit my job and not have to worry about working. I was in a horrible mindset and was not thanking God for all the blessings he had given me in that season. But I am so grateful for that season of my life because God changed my heart to have a heart of contentment. 

Fast-forward to when I found out I was pregnant. I found out after my husband and I had been married for 10 months. We were not planning on having a baby that early, but we were so excited to have our daughter. We originally wanted to wait until we got back from the duty station my husband was being stationed. God had other plans, and I’m so thankful He gave me my daughter when He did. I can’t imagine my life any different.

I was terrified about having a baby. On top of that, I had horrible sickness during my first trimester. I was constantly sick and throwing up until I was 18 weeks pregnant. But that’s where God was literally transforming me. During those months of horrible sickness, God was changing my heart, and I didn’t even know it. 

The saying, “He’s working even when you don’t see it,” is so true. When we think God isn’t doing anything, that’s when He’s doing the most. 

At that time, I started studying Job. I was so miserable from sickness and had so much anxiety about birth, moving to a different state, and figuring out motherhood without a community around me. When I studied the book of Job, God shifted my mindset when it came to pain in the Christian walk. 

Job suffered immensely and never sinned against God. He had questions, but he never sinned in his suffering. That fact in Job opened my eyes to my own heart and how I didn’t trust God when it came to pain—both physical and emotional pain. 

My favorite verse right now is Job 1:21, which says: 

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

How comforting it is to know that God is the one who blesses us, and He’s also the one who allows things to be taken away. I know that might sound odd to say, but think about it. God is so full of wisdom that humans can’t even comprehend it, and He is the one to allow things to happen and give things to us. 

If we had that mindset and trust, shouldn’t we be comforted by Him and surrender everything to God? Sadly, and I’m preaching to the choir here, we don’t. We are all controlling people, and we subconsciously think we know better than God. 

The book of Job was the start of my heart drastically changing. 

After I had my daughter, when I was four months postpartum, I ended up having some health issues that would cause immense pain in my body. The pain would happen randomly, and it caused me to experience depression and anxiety. I developed postpartum anxiety and depression, which affected my whole life, including how I treated my husband and cared for my daughter. 

I would be so scared of having those episodes when I was home alone with my daughter because my husband would be gone for most of the day. It became bad when I would think, “I don’t wanna be here anymore.”  

Once I told my husband about the thoughts I was having, he encouraged me to start Christian therapy. I did, and that was such a God thing. He gave me the therapist I have, who has been such a blessing in my life and has helped me get out of that postpartum depression and anxiety. 

I remember thinking before I started therapy, “Why has God abandoned me?” 

Then, finally, I realized, “God hasn’t abandoned me, I’ve abandoned him.” 

God never left me. I stopped listening to Him, and I chose to sit in my misery instead of sitting in the freedom of Christ. 

The main thing I’ve learned in this season is that God is faithful.

He is faithful even when we’re not. He is faithful even when we can’t see it. He is faithful when everything around us is falling apart. 

Deuteronomy 7:9: 

“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps his covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.”

I love that verse. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenants! How awesome of a God we serve! 

Ladies, my encouragement to you is to stop and think about all the things you’ve been through. Look back and see how faithful God was to you during those times. I promise it will fill your heart with so much joy and freedom! 

Going forward, I will be ending my posts with a prayer for you all and a verse for the week. 

Verse of the week — Deuteronomy 7:9 

“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps his covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.” 

Prayer of the week

“Lord, I pray for these ladies who are reading this. I pray that you fill their hearts with joy and help them walk in your freedom. Whatever they are dealing with right now, I pray that you remind them that you are right by their side and that you are faithful to your promises. Amen.”

Love you, ladies! See you next time!